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Doggi Jokes

Q. What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A. A Labracadabrador!

 

Q. What goes “Tick, tick, woof?”

A. A watchdog!

 

Q. How do you stop a dog from smelling?

A. Hold its nose!

 

Q. What do you call a vampire’s dog?

A. A werewoof!

 

Q. Why should you never buy a dog that’s going cheap?

A. Because a healthy dog should go “woof”!

 

Q. How do you stop your dog chasing people on bicycles?

A. Take his bicycles away!

 

Q. Why did you call your dog Ten Miles?

A. So I can tell everyone I walk Ten Miles every day!

 

Q. If you want to prove that your dog is really your best friend, lock your dog and your best friend in a cupboard.

A. Wait an hour, open it and see which one is happier to see you!

 

Q. Have you seen the dog bowl?

A. No, is he any good?

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?

A. A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

 

Q. How do you find a lost dog in the woods?

A. Put your ear up against a tree and listen for the bark!

 

Q. What did the dog say to the bone?

A. It’s been nice gnawing you!

Q. What’s the difference between a dog and a flea?

A. A dog can have fleas but a flea can’t have dogs!

I took my dog to the water park. The staff said that dogs aren’t allowed on the rides, but just this once, they would let it slide!

 

My Mum was in the kitchen with our dog, Maisie. Mum was baking biscuits and I asked if I could have some and she said “No, they’re for Maisie”. I said “Why are you baking biscuits for the dog?”. She said “Don’t be silly, Maisie doesn’t know how to make biscuits!”

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